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[shodo]

CONTACT

text | call | media | tfln | action | prose | meme overflow | code

❝Master Sakurayashiki cannot answer his phone, please leave a message and I will deliver it to him. Thank you.❞ - Carla

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[shodo]

The details of losing my virginity?

[eveseeking]

Yes. Was that not clear?

[shodo]

[ It was, but he's trying to stall. ]

Tell me about yours first.

[eveseeking]

I do believe I asked you first, darling.

[shodo]

As the person more likely to tease me, you should tell me first as a show of good faith.

[eveseeking]

You're cute when you're shy.

You really want to know? It's not a particularly thrilling story.

[shodo]

I've always been curious.

[ Curious to know who was more worthy of such a thing when he had obviously not been enough. ]

[eveseeking]

It was the winter before we met. I had an argument with my father.

[These are not the details Kaoru wants, surely. He's not even sure why he's sharing them.]

I snuck out and went to Sakurazaka. It was cold.

[shodo]

[ They're far better than the other kind of details that Ainosuke could be sharing, no matter how his gut twists as he reads them over. He feels a guilty sense of satisfaction that it had happened before they met, before there was the chance for him to be rejected. ]

My own story will hardly interest you.

[eveseeking]

Is that how it is? What happened to that talk about a show of good faith, hmm?

[shodo]

It's simply a disclaimer, given you were there.

[ Now he's going to throw his phone onto the bed and collapse onto the floor with embarrassment. ]

[eveseeking]

[Frowning at his phone. Confusion.

...Yeah, he's not getting it.]

I'm sure I would remember witnessing something like that.

[shodo]

[ Never before has Kaoru wished for such a swift death. ]

You weren't a witness.

[eveseeking]

[...No. There is no way that's true.

Is there?]

I thought

[His brain is working hard to rewind and recontextualise everything. Something about that process is making his face feel very hot.]

Didn't we have some discussion along the lines of you giving up control in ways that won't hurt you?

[shodo]

Yes, what of it?

[eveseeking]

You were bluffing then? Is that what you're telling me?

[shodo]

I've tried certain things several times but never felt comfortable being touched. Besides, fantasies count for something.






If I had been honest, you would have laughed at best and rejected me at worst.

[eveseeking]

You can’t really think I would ever laugh at you.

[shodo]

Oh please, as if you haven't. Though I take it back, your bored dismissal would have been worse.

[eveseeking]

I haven’t. I wouldn’t.

You could have told me.

Though, I suppose it’s no matter. I treated you exactly as I would have, had I known.

[shodo]

Well, now I’ve told you. It’s good to know it doesn’t change anything in the past, but what about moving forward?

[eveseeking]

That is the question, isn’t it?

I always wanted you, you know.

[shodo]

... How could I have known that?!

[eveseeking]

Ah. It’s possible that it only felt obvious to me because I felt it so strongly.

[shodo]

We were also both very stupid teenagers at the time. Seems we've grown into only slightly less stupid adults.