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[shodo]

CONTACT

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❝Master Sakurayashiki cannot answer his phone, please leave a message and I will deliver it to him. Thank you.❞ - Carla

Comments

[shodo]

[ They're far better than the other kind of details that Ainosuke could be sharing, no matter how his gut twists as he reads them over. He feels a guilty sense of satisfaction that it had happened before they met, before there was the chance for him to be rejected. ]

My own story will hardly interest you.

[eveseeking]

Is that how it is? What happened to that talk about a show of good faith, hmm?

[shodo]

It's simply a disclaimer, given you were there.

[ Now he's going to throw his phone onto the bed and collapse onto the floor with embarrassment. ]

[eveseeking]

[Frowning at his phone. Confusion.

...Yeah, he's not getting it.]

I'm sure I would remember witnessing something like that.

[shodo]

[ Never before has Kaoru wished for such a swift death. ]

You weren't a witness.

[eveseeking]

[...No. There is no way that's true.

Is there?]

I thought

[His brain is working hard to rewind and recontextualise everything. Something about that process is making his face feel very hot.]

Didn't we have some discussion along the lines of you giving up control in ways that won't hurt you?

[shodo]

Yes, what of it?

[eveseeking]

You were bluffing then? Is that what you're telling me?

[shodo]

I've tried certain things several times but never felt comfortable being touched. Besides, fantasies count for something.






If I had been honest, you would have laughed at best and rejected me at worst.

[eveseeking]

You can’t really think I would ever laugh at you.

[shodo]

Oh please, as if you haven't. Though I take it back, your bored dismissal would have been worse.

[eveseeking]

I haven’t. I wouldn’t.

You could have told me.

Though, I suppose it’s no matter. I treated you exactly as I would have, had I known.

[shodo]

Well, now I’ve told you. It’s good to know it doesn’t change anything in the past, but what about moving forward?

[eveseeking]

That is the question, isn’t it?

I always wanted you, you know.

[shodo]

... How could I have known that?!

[eveseeking]

Ah. It’s possible that it only felt obvious to me because I felt it so strongly.

[shodo]

We were also both very stupid teenagers at the time. Seems we've grown into only slightly less stupid adults.

[eveseeking]

We never really learn, do we?

[shodo]

Perhaps we could start to now.

[eveseeking]

Yes, perhaps it is.

Where do you suppose we begin?

[shodo]

[ It takes him a few minutes of typing, deleting, and typing again before he decides so man up and send what he originally wrote. ]

How about a date?

[eveseeking]

[Two can play at this game of not knowing what to say, apparently. He types out a response and stares at it for a minute—it seems too formal, lacking the intimacy and honesty the situation seems to call for. But ultimately, it’s what he has for now. He can work on carving his way back to authenticity little by little as they go. He hits send.]

It would be my pleasure.

[shodo]

Then I look forward to your invitation.