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[ When Kojiro bends over him, Kaoru drags his fingers up the back of his neck to sink into his hair and hold him close. He feels when his orgasm hits and the way it shakes through them both, warmth filling Kaoru and making him moan Kojiro’s name. He’s so close, hips bucking down as if he’ll be able to get Kojiro any deeper and angling to rub his prostate against his cock before it softens. All the while he babbles meaningless phrases about needing more and wanting Kojiro and being close. Finally, his pleasure crests as Kojiro rubs the sensitive spot beneath the head of his cock and he comes into his hand as his back arches off of the bed and up towards Kojiro. ]
[When the waves are slowly calming down, only then Kojirou has the strength to even moan. He feels Kaoru's hand in his hair this time, holding him close.
It's the closes Kojirou has ever been to Kaoru he has to realize. And then he feels Kaoru come too. One of his arms immediately goes around his waist but his hand never leaves his cock. He feels his peak, warm and thick in his hand, and Kojirou's mouth waters. His cock also wants to jump back into action right then, making him groan in pain and pleasure at the same time.
He doesn't move for a while, he just can't. All his limbs are heavy and his head is light; it feels like the effects of some drugs but really, it's just Kaoru.]
Kaoru.
[Kojirou calls his name again and puts both his arms around him this time, pulling him tight to him, as if what they had done was just not enough. His forehead is still resting against Kaoru's chest. It's hot, and sweaty and messy, but this is Kaoru's warmth, and his scent and everything of his. And now it all belongs to Kojirou.]
I love you.
It's the closes Kojirou has ever been to Kaoru he has to realize. And then he feels Kaoru come too. One of his arms immediately goes around his waist but his hand never leaves his cock. He feels his peak, warm and thick in his hand, and Kojirou's mouth waters. His cock also wants to jump back into action right then, making him groan in pain and pleasure at the same time.
He doesn't move for a while, he just can't. All his limbs are heavy and his head is light; it feels like the effects of some drugs but really, it's just Kaoru.]
Kaoru.
[Kojirou calls his name again and puts both his arms around him this time, pulling him tight to him, as if what they had done was just not enough. His forehead is still resting against Kaoru's chest. It's hot, and sweaty and messy, but this is Kaoru's warmth, and his scent and everything of his. And now it all belongs to Kojirou.]
I love you.
[ Kojiro wraps around him as he shivers through the aftershocks of his orgasm, and Kaoru has never felt so cherished before. It’s almost ironic, given they just had sex for the first time and he’s always associated the act with carnal desire rather than love and care. Everything with Kojiro is different than what he’s used to, and while he totally expects them to have plenty of those carnal encounters as well, this is so... perfect. He wraps his arms tightly around him, encouraging him to stay close and relax. Kaoru can take the weight of him on top and even welcomes the almost stifling proximity. ]
I love you, too, Kojiro. [ He smiles as he coaxes his head closer, up until he can kiss him and then tuck his face against his shoulder. ] Fuck, don’t pull out yet, you feel too good.
I love you, too, Kojiro. [ He smiles as he coaxes his head closer, up until he can kiss him and then tuck his face against his shoulder. ] Fuck, don’t pull out yet, you feel too good.
[Kojirou kisses back and snuggles close, feeling he would never want to leave this bed now. He chuckles at Kaoru's demand, moving his hips just a tad, to show he is not gonna go anywhere. Not anymore.]
Then I'm staying. As if I can move right now.
[He mutters into Kaoru's shoulder, settling against him.]
This was fucking amazing... You're amazing. Can't wait to do it again.
Then I'm staying. As if I can move right now.
[He mutters into Kaoru's shoulder, settling against him.]
This was fucking amazing... You're amazing. Can't wait to do it again.
[ Kaoru groans at the shift in weight as well as Kojiro pressing impossibly deeper. With a little movement of his own, he lowers his leg from where it had been pressed against his chest and instead wraps both legs around Kojiro’s waist to keep him close. They’re going to get cold and sticky, but for now, he’s perfectly content to stay the way they are.
Humming as he cards his fingers through Kojiro’s hair, he chuckles softly. ] Fucking a guy for the first time wasn’t bad then?
Humming as he cards his fingers through Kojiro’s hair, he chuckles softly. ] Fucking a guy for the first time wasn’t bad then?
Come, Kaoru.
[ It's a demand more than anything else. Kojiro is so close, he can practically taste it lingering with the growls and moans at the back of his throat; this is too quick and too dirty, but this filth looks so fucking good on Kaoru. Kojiro loves him like this -- loves him all ways, but this is his favorite -- messy and panting, pulled tight, needy, crying, perfect.
It doesn't matter if they're seen. It doesn't matter if they're heard. It doesn't matter if they have an entire audience. All they'd have to do is see Kaoru like this, and they'd immediately understand the importance of it; why Kojiro takes every opportunity he can, and pushes Kaoru further every single time. ]
I want you like this every day.
[ With Kaoru splayed out over him, it's easier for Kojiro to hold him steady, to hook a hand over his shoulder and brace him against the hard drive of Kojiro's hips, unyielding and unmerciful. If Kaoru thought that warning would be anything short of encouragement, he's sorely mistaken. This is Kaoru's penance for being a tease, for loving Kojiro the way he does; this is Kojiro's revenge and worship all at once. ]
Every day, every way I can. You feel so fucking good. You look even better. Never want to let you go.
[ Not at all practical or sensible. But sometimes Kaoru likes to hear his sentimental nonsense, and it's nothing short of the truth anyway.
But Kaoru comes first, always. And it's hell to hold himself back; Kojiro has to bite his lip, because the edge of pain is all that keeps him from coming. He wants to, wants his end so badly, but he wants Kaoru's more. His teeth find Kaoru's neck again, dig in hard, drag a long welt from ear to shoulder as he strokes faster at Kaoru's cock, and his next words are low, strained: ]
And I'm not letting you sleep tonight. So come now.
[ It's a demand more than anything else. Kojiro is so close, he can practically taste it lingering with the growls and moans at the back of his throat; this is too quick and too dirty, but this filth looks so fucking good on Kaoru. Kojiro loves him like this -- loves him all ways, but this is his favorite -- messy and panting, pulled tight, needy, crying, perfect.
It doesn't matter if they're seen. It doesn't matter if they're heard. It doesn't matter if they have an entire audience. All they'd have to do is see Kaoru like this, and they'd immediately understand the importance of it; why Kojiro takes every opportunity he can, and pushes Kaoru further every single time. ]
I want you like this every day.
[ With Kaoru splayed out over him, it's easier for Kojiro to hold him steady, to hook a hand over his shoulder and brace him against the hard drive of Kojiro's hips, unyielding and unmerciful. If Kaoru thought that warning would be anything short of encouragement, he's sorely mistaken. This is Kaoru's penance for being a tease, for loving Kojiro the way he does; this is Kojiro's revenge and worship all at once. ]
Every day, every way I can. You feel so fucking good. You look even better. Never want to let you go.
[ Not at all practical or sensible. But sometimes Kaoru likes to hear his sentimental nonsense, and it's nothing short of the truth anyway.
But Kaoru comes first, always. And it's hell to hold himself back; Kojiro has to bite his lip, because the edge of pain is all that keeps him from coming. He wants to, wants his end so badly, but he wants Kaoru's more. His teeth find Kaoru's neck again, dig in hard, drag a long welt from ear to shoulder as he strokes faster at Kaoru's cock, and his next words are low, strained: ]
And I'm not letting you sleep tonight. So come now.
[ He very nearly comes on command that first time, and he really shouldn’t have expected Kojiro to back down at the warning. Kaoru can’t help thinking it’s a little selfish—of who, he’s not entirely sure—that he’s the one to come first every time they have sex. It’s never for a lack of trying, but Kojiro manages to wring his orgasm from him or hold his own off no matter what the circumstances are. Someday, Kaoru is going to find a way to turn the tables on that, but that day is not today.
He’s weak to Kojiro’s words as much as his touch. It may sound like filth, but there is tender sentiment between each line that Kaoru can feel rumbling in Kojiro’s chest. Though it’s hard to admit, both because he’s a bit shy about it out of bed and preoccupied with other thoughts in it, he wants all of those same things; to feel Kojiro inside of him every day, to not need to let go of each other at the end of the night when they part ways to their respective homes, to pretend like they aren’t in love when they visit each other at work. Kaoru is a greedy bastard in more ways than one, and out of everything he values, he craves Kojiro’s time and attention above all else.
With Kojiro’s hips hammering into him, his hand stroking over him, his words wooing him, there’s little hope that he’ll last. The teeth on his neck are what pushes him over, harsh enough that he knows there will be a lasting mark there he can secretly admire in the mirror later. Kojiro likes to pretend he isn’t obsessed with Kaoru’s flawless pale skin, as if it isn’t as much a canvas for his love as paper is for Kaoru’s brush. Kaoru, for his part, likes the marks far more than he tends to let on. He’s already shaking with the start of his orgasm when Kojiro promises more tonight, and the tension of his body snaps as he comes. His back arches away from Kojiro’s chest as he screams with ecstasy, reaching up and behind him to grip Kojiro’s hair and anchor himself in place. ]
He’s weak to Kojiro’s words as much as his touch. It may sound like filth, but there is tender sentiment between each line that Kaoru can feel rumbling in Kojiro’s chest. Though it’s hard to admit, both because he’s a bit shy about it out of bed and preoccupied with other thoughts in it, he wants all of those same things; to feel Kojiro inside of him every day, to not need to let go of each other at the end of the night when they part ways to their respective homes, to pretend like they aren’t in love when they visit each other at work. Kaoru is a greedy bastard in more ways than one, and out of everything he values, he craves Kojiro’s time and attention above all else.
With Kojiro’s hips hammering into him, his hand stroking over him, his words wooing him, there’s little hope that he’ll last. The teeth on his neck are what pushes him over, harsh enough that he knows there will be a lasting mark there he can secretly admire in the mirror later. Kojiro likes to pretend he isn’t obsessed with Kaoru’s flawless pale skin, as if it isn’t as much a canvas for his love as paper is for Kaoru’s brush. Kaoru, for his part, likes the marks far more than he tends to let on. He’s already shaking with the start of his orgasm when Kojiro promises more tonight, and the tension of his body snaps as he comes. His back arches away from Kojiro’s chest as he screams with ecstasy, reaching up and behind him to grip Kojiro’s hair and anchor himself in place. ]
[Kojirou shivers at all the movement, still all too sensitive from all that had happened. But he chuckles still, because yeah, wow first time with a guy...]
Yeah, should have started with this one instead of chicks huh.
[He jokes shaking his head, then kissing at Kaoru's shoulder.]
But no, no I'm glad it was with you first.
Yeah, should have started with this one instead of chicks huh.
[He jokes shaking his head, then kissing at Kaoru's shoulder.]
But no, no I'm glad it was with you first.
[ Pawing at the blanket beneath them, he pulls at it until it’s almost free and then rolls to the side. He clings tightly to Kojiro, groaning when they shift but don’t part, and then drags the covers over the both of them. The warmth keeps him pliant as he kisses the side of Kojiro’s neck and then bites down to leave a mark. ]
It felt like the first time for me. You’re so different from... before. I wish I had started with you.
It felt like the first time for me. You’re so different from... before. I wish I had started with you.
[If the moving around wasn't bad enough, the bite definitely is too much on Kojirou's sensitive skin. He jumps, hissing. But then he settles again, not letting Kaoru go even under the warmth of the covers.
Though he feels a bit of guilt stir in him when Kaoru talks. Yes, maybe if he was faster, braver, or something...]
You still ended up with me, in my bed. And soon we're gonna leave together. That's all I care about now.
Though he feels a bit of guilt stir in him when Kaoru talks. Yes, maybe if he was faster, braver, or something...]
You still ended up with me, in my bed. And soon we're gonna leave together. That's all I care about now.
[ Kaoru sighs happily at that, comforted both by Kojiro’s closeness and his words. They can really start a new life together, and even if he doubts that they’ll stay away from Japan forever, he’s confident that they’ll make things work. It’s certainly scary and something he won’t have any control over, but knowing that Kojiro will be there with him makes it easier to jump off the deep end. ]
Yeah, me too. You’re really stuck with me, after all!
Yeah, me too. You’re really stuck with me, after all!
Wouldn't have it any other way. Because you're stuck with me too.
[Kojirou grins and leans in to kiss at Kaoru's cheek, then attempts to tilt his head to kiss his lips.]
[Kojirou grins and leans in to kiss at Kaoru's cheek, then attempts to tilt his head to kiss his lips.]
[ There. Kaoru arches as his tension breaks; he's shaking, hand sunk deep in Kojiro's hair, crying out into the night air, and he's so fucking beautiful like this. Ethereal. Surrendering, falling apart, spilling over Kojiro's hand, and the slow comedown will soon follow. But Kojiro holds him tight for now, lets Kaoru come to pieces against him and ride out the waves of pleasure, and thinks -- for what feels like the thousandth time or more -- that he has to be the luckiest person in the world, to get to see Kaoru like this.
Kojiro isn't far behind. Kaoru's voice alone, his cries, are enough to send Kojiro over, because he's so hot when he comes that it makes Kojiro's head spin, and it feels like he's been riding that edge since they started. He's only barely able to pull himself out in time, and he buries his face against Kaoru's neck as the pressure finally breaks with a violent shudder. Kojiro groans, long and deep with each hurried exhale, and even spilling across the seat below Kaoru, he can't remember the last time he's come this hard. But maybe he thinks that every time; it just keeps getting better, and if they continue on this kind of upward trajectory, Kojiro's soul is just going to leave his body someday. Leave it to Kaoru to drive him to this kind of high, to make his head swim and his vision blur.
He's still faintly trembling through the aftershocks when he finally lifts his head again, then tips it back with a long groan. ]
Fuck, Kaoru! Nnn, fucking love you...
[ Kojiro's arms both wind tight around Kaoru's waist, to pull him back against his chest and let him rest there for a moment. And so that he can press kiss after kiss to Kaoru's cheek and temple. ]
Kojiro isn't far behind. Kaoru's voice alone, his cries, are enough to send Kojiro over, because he's so hot when he comes that it makes Kojiro's head spin, and it feels like he's been riding that edge since they started. He's only barely able to pull himself out in time, and he buries his face against Kaoru's neck as the pressure finally breaks with a violent shudder. Kojiro groans, long and deep with each hurried exhale, and even spilling across the seat below Kaoru, he can't remember the last time he's come this hard. But maybe he thinks that every time; it just keeps getting better, and if they continue on this kind of upward trajectory, Kojiro's soul is just going to leave his body someday. Leave it to Kaoru to drive him to this kind of high, to make his head swim and his vision blur.
He's still faintly trembling through the aftershocks when he finally lifts his head again, then tips it back with a long groan. ]
Fuck, Kaoru! Nnn, fucking love you...
[ Kojiro's arms both wind tight around Kaoru's waist, to pull him back against his chest and let him rest there for a moment. And so that he can press kiss after kiss to Kaoru's cheek and temple. ]
[ Kaoru legitimately sobs when Kojiro pulls out and leaves him feeling cold and empty when there had been the chance for more, to be filled even deeper and left feeling warm and used. Instead he's given the ultimate tease, especially when he's shaking with aftershocks of his orgasm and gravity is drawing him down towards the bike so that Kojiro's arm around his torso is the only thing keeping him upright. Stupid Kojiro. Stupid public sex. Stupid slutty needs. Stupid love. ]
Why the fuck— [ He shudders as he feels hot come splash against the small of his back where his clothes have luckily ridden up thanks to their bodies rubbing together. The logical side of his brain, relatively loud in the echoing silence of his mind caused by a fantastic orgasm, says a prayer for Kojiro's clothes as he smashes their bodies together. ] You better come in me next time.
[ Still, he can't be annoyed when he feels like he's floating with nothing but Kojiro's embrace to tether him to the earth, and he lets his head loll back to rest against Kojiro's broad shoulder. He turns his face enough that he can kiss the side of his neck, mouthing at the warm skin and biting down to leave a mark of his own. ] Love you too.
Why the fuck— [ He shudders as he feels hot come splash against the small of his back where his clothes have luckily ridden up thanks to their bodies rubbing together. The logical side of his brain, relatively loud in the echoing silence of his mind caused by a fantastic orgasm, says a prayer for Kojiro's clothes as he smashes their bodies together. ] You better come in me next time.
[ Still, he can't be annoyed when he feels like he's floating with nothing but Kojiro's embrace to tether him to the earth, and he lets his head loll back to rest against Kojiro's broad shoulder. He turns his face enough that he can kiss the side of his neck, mouthing at the warm skin and biting down to leave a mark of his own. ] Love you too.
[ A breathless laugh falls against Kaoru's shoulder, and Kojiro shakes his head. ]
Not gonna make you walk around leaking my cum all night, baby.
[ An attempt to be thoughtful, even knowing he'd catch hell for it. Better now than a potential later, after Kaoru's had a few hours to wander S with a constant reminder of their pre-gaming. He can be sensible, on occasion, even if it's only when Kaoru's too fuck-drunk to think clearly. Let him be mad about it for a second; he'll thank Kojiro's forethought later.
Kojiro catches Kaoru's lips in a final, lingering kiss, while he shrugs out of his jacket, and sets to work cleaning them -- his hand, Kaoru's skin, the seat of his bike -- with the inside lining. Again, practical; if he goes without the jacket for one night, it definitely won't be missed. And, in case there were any question, as soon as his hands are clean, he reaches up to sink one deep into Kaoru's hair, and hold him fast while he growls into his ear: ]
And I wasn't kidding about later. When we get home, I'm gonna make you forget your own name, so don't be salty about it now. You're gonna get more of me than you can handle after S.
Not gonna make you walk around leaking my cum all night, baby.
[ An attempt to be thoughtful, even knowing he'd catch hell for it. Better now than a potential later, after Kaoru's had a few hours to wander S with a constant reminder of their pre-gaming. He can be sensible, on occasion, even if it's only when Kaoru's too fuck-drunk to think clearly. Let him be mad about it for a second; he'll thank Kojiro's forethought later.
Kojiro catches Kaoru's lips in a final, lingering kiss, while he shrugs out of his jacket, and sets to work cleaning them -- his hand, Kaoru's skin, the seat of his bike -- with the inside lining. Again, practical; if he goes without the jacket for one night, it definitely won't be missed. And, in case there were any question, as soon as his hands are clean, he reaches up to sink one deep into Kaoru's hair, and hold him fast while he growls into his ear: ]
And I wasn't kidding about later. When we get home, I'm gonna make you forget your own name, so don't be salty about it now. You're gonna get more of me than you can handle after S.
Coward. [ There's an absence of fire in his tone, though, still weak and panting as he comes down from such an incredible high. Even if he's whining about it for the moment, and even if there were a few obvious solutions to prevent said issue, he can't help thinking that it's sweet of Kojiro to consider his comfort when Kaoru doesn't have the mind for it himself. It all boils down to the fact that Kaoru really doesn't want to hang around S for longer than necessary tonight, not only because he just got railed by his boyfriend but also thanks to the promise of more after they leave.
Grumbling at Kojiro already cleaning up but against appreciating how practical he's being, Kaoru sighs but sets about retying his hakama. It's a bit annoying to do with the shirt largely still in place, but at least he hadn't been completely naked in the middle of the forest.
The grip catches him by surprise and rips a sharp gasp from him, scalp prickling from the treatment. It makes him moan and go pliant again, and it really is such an advantage for Kojiro to know and exploit this weakness—but it feels too good for Kaoru to actually complain. Still, he puts up a front of defiance, smirking at Kojiro like he's just issued a challenge that Kaoru is happy to accept. ] Fucking bring it on, there's nothing you can do that I can't handle.
Grumbling at Kojiro already cleaning up but against appreciating how practical he's being, Kaoru sighs but sets about retying his hakama. It's a bit annoying to do with the shirt largely still in place, but at least he hadn't been completely naked in the middle of the forest.
The grip catches him by surprise and rips a sharp gasp from him, scalp prickling from the treatment. It makes him moan and go pliant again, and it really is such an advantage for Kojiro to know and exploit this weakness—but it feels too good for Kaoru to actually complain. Still, he puts up a front of defiance, smirking at Kojiro like he's just issued a challenge that Kaoru is happy to accept. ] Fucking bring it on, there's nothing you can do that I can't handle.
I know it. You're too sweet to me.
[ Totally dichotomous to the rougher treatment, Kojiro's fingertips scrub gently along Kaoru's scalp, all in the wake of a few kisses more along the nape of his neck.
Here, finally, Kojiro sees the danger of engaging like this in public. It's the simple fact that, no matter how satisfying the fuck, he can never seem to keep his hands off Kaoru after. He's dragged up this needling hunger in Kojiro, and sex is rarely enough to sate it. Kojiro's left chasing it every time, even when he can't put a name to the need. More touching, more kissing, more of those sugared words, more of this ever-novel warmth. Whatever it is, he wants as much of it as Kaoru will give him, and it's hell to pry himself away from it.
But he manages. At some length, he carefully lowers Kaoru back onto the bike, and relinquishes his grip with a sigh. That's not to say he allows Kaoru to go away just yet, though. While Kaoru gets to work on his hakama again, Kojiro reaches up to undo that long, rosy ponytail. This, at least, he can help with. He got good at it during Kaoru's injury, and it's only fair when he messed it up in the first place.
It's easier with a brush, but he uses his fingers as a makeshift comb, carefully sorting through Kaoru's hair and smoothing it out between his hands. It doesn't take long to put it right again, and then gather it together to pull back through the tie. ]
There. No one will ever know I just fucked you stupid on my bike.
[ Totally dichotomous to the rougher treatment, Kojiro's fingertips scrub gently along Kaoru's scalp, all in the wake of a few kisses more along the nape of his neck.
Here, finally, Kojiro sees the danger of engaging like this in public. It's the simple fact that, no matter how satisfying the fuck, he can never seem to keep his hands off Kaoru after. He's dragged up this needling hunger in Kojiro, and sex is rarely enough to sate it. Kojiro's left chasing it every time, even when he can't put a name to the need. More touching, more kissing, more of those sugared words, more of this ever-novel warmth. Whatever it is, he wants as much of it as Kaoru will give him, and it's hell to pry himself away from it.
But he manages. At some length, he carefully lowers Kaoru back onto the bike, and relinquishes his grip with a sigh. That's not to say he allows Kaoru to go away just yet, though. While Kaoru gets to work on his hakama again, Kojiro reaches up to undo that long, rosy ponytail. This, at least, he can help with. He got good at it during Kaoru's injury, and it's only fair when he messed it up in the first place.
It's easier with a brush, but he uses his fingers as a makeshift comb, carefully sorting through Kaoru's hair and smoothing it out between his hands. It doesn't take long to put it right again, and then gather it together to pull back through the tie. ]
There. No one will ever know I just fucked you stupid on my bike.
[ Kaoru makes a soft, content noise as the finger against his scalp and how they light up the last pinpricks of pleasure in his cooling body. They're both insatiable, but it works because they keep pushing each other to new heights because of it. Despite how laid-back Kojiro can appear in casual settings, he puts ridiculous amounts of energy into the parts of his life that matter most to him: his restaurant, his skating, and now his boyfriend. It's one of his qualities that had made it so easy for him to woo Kaoru who can put on airs and act aloof but wants to be the center of Kojiro's universe and take all the attention he can dish out.
His hands pause as Kojiro pulls his hair from its tie and make him shiver all over again. The sensation has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with how good it feels to let his hair down at any point—the sensitivity of his body just adds to that. He hums while Kojiro's fingers brush through his hair and pull gently where it had tangled. He's gotten to be a master of this to the point that Kaoru likes to find reasons for him to help with his hair and the small intimacies that come with it. ]
What a shame. [ He leans back against Kojiro and smiles up at him as he reaches for his hands. They need to get going soon, but for the moment, Kaoru pretends that they have nowhere to be and no obligations to anyone other than each other. Lifting Kojiro's hands, he kisses the callused fingertips and brushes the knuckles with the pads of his fingers. ] Well, I guess that depends on how well you manage to keep your hands off of me for the rest of the evening.
His hands pause as Kojiro pulls his hair from its tie and make him shiver all over again. The sensation has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with how good it feels to let his hair down at any point—the sensitivity of his body just adds to that. He hums while Kojiro's fingers brush through his hair and pull gently where it had tangled. He's gotten to be a master of this to the point that Kaoru likes to find reasons for him to help with his hair and the small intimacies that come with it. ]
What a shame. [ He leans back against Kojiro and smiles up at him as he reaches for his hands. They need to get going soon, but for the moment, Kaoru pretends that they have nowhere to be and no obligations to anyone other than each other. Lifting Kojiro's hands, he kisses the callused fingertips and brushes the knuckles with the pads of his fingers. ] Well, I guess that depends on how well you manage to keep your hands off of me for the rest of the evening.
[ This thing between them -- like this moment, right now, between the stars and the still night air -- feels simultaneously dangerous and idyllic. Kaoru touches him like fate and kisses him like destiny, and Kojiro can't banish either from his mind. Because how is he supposed to think of everything else, when he's already felt perfection night after night under Kaoru's hands?
It feels selfish, stupid, but he wants to keep it for himself. He wants every part of Kaoru -- mind, body, soul -- wrapped up in his arms just like this. He never wants to let it go. He wants to wake up every morning with this absolute peace in his arms, and he wants to end every day with the same serenity on his lips. But this is enough. It always has been, and he tells himself over and over again, but then Kaoru says things like this, and throws that entire dogma into upheaval, because--
What? Does he not want Kojiro to keep his hands to himself?
And Kojiro's always been so fucking impulsive where Kaoru's concerned. At his mercy, totally and completely and at every winding turn. So Kaoru kisses his thick fingertips, and Kojiro smirks while he presses his forehead to Kaoru's temple. ]
Hey, Kaoru. [ There's an impish gleam in Kojiro's eyes, if Kaoru cares to look. ] You wanna beef tonight?
If I win, you gotta slip me some tongue at the finish line, in front of everyone.
It feels selfish, stupid, but he wants to keep it for himself. He wants every part of Kaoru -- mind, body, soul -- wrapped up in his arms just like this. He never wants to let it go. He wants to wake up every morning with this absolute peace in his arms, and he wants to end every day with the same serenity on his lips. But this is enough. It always has been, and he tells himself over and over again, but then Kaoru says things like this, and throws that entire dogma into upheaval, because--
What? Does he not want Kojiro to keep his hands to himself?
And Kojiro's always been so fucking impulsive where Kaoru's concerned. At his mercy, totally and completely and at every winding turn. So Kaoru kisses his thick fingertips, and Kojiro smirks while he presses his forehead to Kaoru's temple. ]
Hey, Kaoru. [ There's an impish gleam in Kojiro's eyes, if Kaoru cares to look. ] You wanna beef tonight?
If I win, you gotta slip me some tongue at the finish line, in front of everyone.
[ There are so many parts of Kaoru that contrast one another that, at times, it feels like he's at war with himself. He wants all of Kojiro's attention, wants to not share him with anyone even if that means the irritation of jealousy when women flirt with the man who was once the most eligible bachelor in Okinawa. He wants to be the only one, and he simultaneously wants everyone to know it so they'll stay away while also keeping this precious thing secret and thus safe. He wants to be secure in his sexuality, but he wants to be safe from hatred towards it; He wants to be successful despite prejudice, and he wants to avoid being praised in spite of it. Kaoru has never thought of himself as a gay man but rather a man who happens to be gay, and the thought of people around him shifting that paradigm is frightening. He's Cherry Blossom, the high-tech analytical skater, and he's Sakurayashiki Kaoru, the talented calligrapher and digital artist. Nowhere in his image of himself is there room for being "the gay skater" or "the gay caligrapher" or even "that chef's gay boyfriend." He doesn't want those things for Kojiro, either, who puts so much work into his body for the sake of skating and so much love into his food for the restaurant.
At the same time, there is nothing he wants more than to be a couple in public who can hold hands as they walk down the street and kiss each other when they part ways. He wants to be a pair, wants to claim Kojiro and be claimed in return, wants women to be jealous of him for being the one to take the casanova of Okinawa off the market. Even though the thought of losing to Kojiro's terms strikes a stab of fear into him, there's a bigger thrill of desire when he considers what it would be like to kiss Kojiro where they could be seen. Maybe, just maybe, S could be a place for them to be out together. They're founding members and respected skaters, and if someone is going to try and out them with claims of seeing them suck face at an illegal event, it would be shooting themselves in the foot by admitting they were there to witness it.
Kaoru sucks in a breath and bites back a snappy retort that nearly bubbles forth on instinct. There's no reason for him to scold Kojiro for suggesting something that makes Kaoru warm all over. ] When I win, you have to kneel in front of me and beg for it.
At the same time, there is nothing he wants more than to be a couple in public who can hold hands as they walk down the street and kiss each other when they part ways. He wants to be a pair, wants to claim Kojiro and be claimed in return, wants women to be jealous of him for being the one to take the casanova of Okinawa off the market. Even though the thought of losing to Kojiro's terms strikes a stab of fear into him, there's a bigger thrill of desire when he considers what it would be like to kiss Kojiro where they could be seen. Maybe, just maybe, S could be a place for them to be out together. They're founding members and respected skaters, and if someone is going to try and out them with claims of seeing them suck face at an illegal event, it would be shooting themselves in the foot by admitting they were there to witness it.
Kaoru sucks in a breath and bites back a snappy retort that nearly bubbles forth on instinct. There's no reason for him to scold Kojiro for suggesting something that makes Kaoru warm all over. ] When I win, you have to kneel in front of me and beg for it.
[ This feels like permission and doubt all in one, somehow; like Kojiro's just thrown another ball into play, and Kaoru passed it back with effortless grace and a hint of detachment. Back in his court, just like that. Like Kaoru's trying to gauge just how committed Kojiro really is to the idea of being out and being okay with it.
Kojiro's not sure why he expected anything different. He's not sure he actually did expect anything different, when it comes right down to it. He doesn't know what this is like, after all; there are pain points here that Kojiro can't imagine, because he's never had to live them. Through all the years he loved Kaoru, he was still able to pass himself off as the manly, straight, stereotypical heterosexual; because no one ever asked, and it was easier to just play along and roll with the belief that he'd never be-- a lot of things. Smart enough, hot enough, rich enough, talented enough, whatever enough to pull Kaoru's interest.
But now? Now, Kojiro's smile is like the sun, blinding, lighting up the dead of night, and he snatches Kaoru up in his arms again without warning. ]
That didn't take you long to decide. It's like you were planning it anyway.
[ Kojiro's voice is muffled against the kisses he's pressing to Kaoru's neck, but Kaoru can hear the sly laughter there anyway. Thankfully -- or maybe foolishly -- Kojiro's less prone to worry about the long-term implications of all this. As far as he's ever been concerned, no one who matters is gonna give a shit, and that's all there is to it. No point in overcomplicating something that makes them both so happy. ]
You make losing sound real good, pretty boy. How am I supposed to concentrate on kicking your ass, after that? Cheater.
Kojiro's not sure why he expected anything different. He's not sure he actually did expect anything different, when it comes right down to it. He doesn't know what this is like, after all; there are pain points here that Kojiro can't imagine, because he's never had to live them. Through all the years he loved Kaoru, he was still able to pass himself off as the manly, straight, stereotypical heterosexual; because no one ever asked, and it was easier to just play along and roll with the belief that he'd never be-- a lot of things. Smart enough, hot enough, rich enough, talented enough, whatever enough to pull Kaoru's interest.
But now? Now, Kojiro's smile is like the sun, blinding, lighting up the dead of night, and he snatches Kaoru up in his arms again without warning. ]
That didn't take you long to decide. It's like you were planning it anyway.
[ Kojiro's voice is muffled against the kisses he's pressing to Kaoru's neck, but Kaoru can hear the sly laughter there anyway. Thankfully -- or maybe foolishly -- Kojiro's less prone to worry about the long-term implications of all this. As far as he's ever been concerned, no one who matters is gonna give a shit, and that's all there is to it. No point in overcomplicating something that makes them both so happy. ]
You make losing sound real good, pretty boy. How am I supposed to concentrate on kicking your ass, after that? Cheater.
[ Kaoru clicks his tongue in feigned annoyance even as he melts easily in Kojiro's arms. It hadn't felt like a quick decision for him, but he's also intimately familiar with his own mental process as well as how long he's been thinking of these things. To Kojiro, maybe Kaoru had never even given thought to being out together; to Kaoru, it's been on his mind almost as long as they've been dating. ]
I know you're not as familiar with the concept of quick thinking, but it is just one benefit of high intelligence. [ He tilts his head back against Kojiro's shoulder and turns to kiss beneath his jaw in a silent sign that he's ribbing him rather than intending to actually insult. The shift from their dynamic before still astounds him, because they still bicker, but now he can reassure Kojiro through physical signs that it's all teasing and Kaoru's own struggle with allowing himself to be vulnerable. ]
If you plan on letting me win, there's no point in claiming the forfeit. I'm not a thief, after all, so I won't be stealing the race.
[ Going silent for a moment, he covers Kojiro's hands with his own where they rest on his body with their large span and warm weight. Joking about this is fine and all, but he knows that they need to have a serious conversation about the potential consequences of being a little less secretive. ] I need you to be serious...
I know you're not as familiar with the concept of quick thinking, but it is just one benefit of high intelligence. [ He tilts his head back against Kojiro's shoulder and turns to kiss beneath his jaw in a silent sign that he's ribbing him rather than intending to actually insult. The shift from their dynamic before still astounds him, because they still bicker, but now he can reassure Kojiro through physical signs that it's all teasing and Kaoru's own struggle with allowing himself to be vulnerable. ]
If you plan on letting me win, there's no point in claiming the forfeit. I'm not a thief, after all, so I won't be stealing the race.
[ Going silent for a moment, he covers Kojiro's hands with his own where they rest on his body with their large span and warm weight. Joking about this is fine and all, but he knows that they need to have a serious conversation about the potential consequences of being a little less secretive. ] I need you to be serious...
I am.
[ For once, there's no defensive edge to his tone. Kojiro doesn't have any room or any right to feel wounded here. He might have no idea what he's getting himself into, but Kaoru's already had to live through it. Carrying any anxious burden -- about what will happen, what could go wrong, whether Kojiro can handle this -- is entirely on Kaoru. As far as Kojiro is concerned, they just have to take the plunge and tackle any issues as they come.
But Kaoru overthinks everything. He likes to joke about Kojiro's supposed ignorance, but there's a flipside to Kaoru's intelligence. It's part of why Kojiro is so demanding and rough with him; to arrest that constant barrage of thought, get him out of his own head, even for a little while. Kojiro loves that brain just as much as he adores the rest of Kaoru, but it needs a break every once in a while.
Kojiro's hands shift under Kaoru's, to weave their fingers together, entwine them that much closer. His chin comes to rest on Kaoru's shoulder, and when he tilts his head, he can just meet Kaoru's gaze out of the corner of his eye. ]
I'm serious. I'll be serious. But if you got something to say, then say it.
[ For once, there's no defensive edge to his tone. Kojiro doesn't have any room or any right to feel wounded here. He might have no idea what he's getting himself into, but Kaoru's already had to live through it. Carrying any anxious burden -- about what will happen, what could go wrong, whether Kojiro can handle this -- is entirely on Kaoru. As far as Kojiro is concerned, they just have to take the plunge and tackle any issues as they come.
But Kaoru overthinks everything. He likes to joke about Kojiro's supposed ignorance, but there's a flipside to Kaoru's intelligence. It's part of why Kojiro is so demanding and rough with him; to arrest that constant barrage of thought, get him out of his own head, even for a little while. Kojiro loves that brain just as much as he adores the rest of Kaoru, but it needs a break every once in a while.
Kojiro's hands shift under Kaoru's, to weave their fingers together, entwine them that much closer. His chin comes to rest on Kaoru's shoulder, and when he tilts his head, he can just meet Kaoru's gaze out of the corner of his eye. ]
I'm serious. I'll be serious. But if you got something to say, then say it.
[ Funny how such a short and simple response can send Kaoru's heart racing. It's not so much a question of whether or not Kojiro can be serious—Kaoru has seen it, mainly in skating but in a few other situations, too. He'll never forget Kojiro's face swimming into blurry view as he was lifted into his arms after Adam's attack nor the way he looked when Kaoru woke up to see him there in the hospital room next to his bed. Kojiro can be serious enough to open his own restaurant and win countless races and apparently consider the insanity that had been starting a relationship with Kaoru. In many ways, he's always been the one to take Kaoru seriously, all the way back to high school when he'd been under Adam's spell.
Grunting at the way Kojiro squeezes him while closing whatever distance remains between them, Kaoru grips his hands tightly and ignores the fact that he can see Kojiro's eyes in his peripheral vision. Blame it on contacts, or whatever he wants, but he needs a moment of pretending he isn't being watched while he decides whether or not to run from this.
He wiggles in Kojiro's arms until he can get free of them and pull off of the bike. His knees are still weak and his thighs sticky, but he isn't trying to walk away; instead, he turns around and straddles the motorcycle backwards so he can look up into Kojiro's face properly. He wished this could be done in bed where he'd have the stability to drape his legs over Kojiro's hips and cling to him as much as he wants, but he needs to keep his toes on the ground so slinging his arms around Kojiro's neck will have to be enough for now. ]
I think it's safe to be out in S. I'm not saying I want to announce it or anything loud or official, but we're going to be caught eventually even if we try to hide it. We should at least tell our friends, though I'm not sure it's entirely appropriate for the kids...
[ He's overthinking things again, as usual, but this time at least he's doing it out loud where Kojiro can chime in with his very valid opinion. This is a relationship, after all, so his comfort is just as important. ]
Grunting at the way Kojiro squeezes him while closing whatever distance remains between them, Kaoru grips his hands tightly and ignores the fact that he can see Kojiro's eyes in his peripheral vision. Blame it on contacts, or whatever he wants, but he needs a moment of pretending he isn't being watched while he decides whether or not to run from this.
He wiggles in Kojiro's arms until he can get free of them and pull off of the bike. His knees are still weak and his thighs sticky, but he isn't trying to walk away; instead, he turns around and straddles the motorcycle backwards so he can look up into Kojiro's face properly. He wished this could be done in bed where he'd have the stability to drape his legs over Kojiro's hips and cling to him as much as he wants, but he needs to keep his toes on the ground so slinging his arms around Kojiro's neck will have to be enough for now. ]
I think it's safe to be out in S. I'm not saying I want to announce it or anything loud or official, but we're going to be caught eventually even if we try to hide it. We should at least tell our friends, though I'm not sure it's entirely appropriate for the kids...
[ He's overthinking things again, as usual, but this time at least he's doing it out loud where Kojiro can chime in with his very valid opinion. This is a relationship, after all, so his comfort is just as important. ]
[ Luckily for Kaoru -- or possibly unfortunately for Kaoru, depending on the state of his pride at that moment -- Kojiro is a beast, in conjunction with being fairly adept at anticipating Kaoru's needs. Being face to face is great, but considering they were practically melding into each other just a few moments previous, their current situation feels like too much distance. So before Kaoru can settle too much over the bike, Kojiro gets an arm around his waist and yanks him closer, coaxes Kaoru's legs up over his own thighs. Better. Kaoru can stay all wrapped up around Kojiro like this, even if it's nothing more than Kojiro’s (considerable) strength holding him there. ]
Hey. [ Low, soothing, and plying. ] Whatever you wanna do, whenever you're ready, I'm game. Okay? Don't overthink it. You got me, and I'm not going anywhere.
[ It's probably easier to say that from where Kojiro's sitting. Easier, when he doesn't have the burden of considering and reconsidering every possible angle. So maybe, possibly, baby steps would be better. ]
If you're worried, how about we start small? Maybe 'small' just looks like-- I don't know. Not trying to hide it anymore? Doesn't have to be anything big. Try to think about what we would look like, if we didn't have to worry about what other people think, and treat me like that.
[ Maybe it wouldn't even look very different. They've always stuck close to one another at S, and even had their moments of sexually-frustrated sniping, or -- very rarely -- genuine affection. How much would anyone really question it, if Joe draped a casual arm around Cherry's shoulders, or if Cherry leaned a touch too close to Joe in private conversation? ]
And when we get comfortable with that, we can think about something more. Does that work?
Hey. [ Low, soothing, and plying. ] Whatever you wanna do, whenever you're ready, I'm game. Okay? Don't overthink it. You got me, and I'm not going anywhere.
[ It's probably easier to say that from where Kojiro's sitting. Easier, when he doesn't have the burden of considering and reconsidering every possible angle. So maybe, possibly, baby steps would be better. ]
If you're worried, how about we start small? Maybe 'small' just looks like-- I don't know. Not trying to hide it anymore? Doesn't have to be anything big. Try to think about what we would look like, if we didn't have to worry about what other people think, and treat me like that.
[ Maybe it wouldn't even look very different. They've always stuck close to one another at S, and even had their moments of sexually-frustrated sniping, or -- very rarely -- genuine affection. How much would anyone really question it, if Joe draped a casual arm around Cherry's shoulders, or if Cherry leaned a touch too close to Joe in private conversation? ]
And when we get comfortable with that, we can think about something more. Does that work?
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