I just meant that I'm always surprised and pleased by our compatibility despite how different we are. I know we aren't going to feel the same about everything, but I also trust you not to find fault in those differences since you've stuck with me this long. I hope you know that for all the shortness of my temper at times, nothing is a deal breaker when it comes to how strongly I feel for you.
I'm still here, right? No fight we've had has been able to change how I feel about you. Even that really bad one we had a few years ago. I've been in love with you since we were stupid kids, Kaoru, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not walking away from this no matter what happens. You're worth every bit of effort to fix things if it goes wrong.
It's just part of life, isn't it? We might have the benefit of knowing one another for as long as we have, but that doesn't mean we won't stumble upon something that'll make us fight in a different way. It's not so much assuming something will go wrong, but more preparing for the future when we move in together and stumble upon something that'll make us angry or scared or something.
Dunno about kids and pets, think we've got enough of that right now. But, I'm not gonna lie and say getting married isn't something I've thought about.
I think I'm still getting used to the idea of your romantic side being more than a manwhore with two women on his arms at all times! I think that it's been illegal for me to get married my entire life so I've tried not to get my hopes up about it!! And I think that I'm still worried that I'll fuck something up since I'm a mess and you'll realize you're too good to be stuck with me the rest of your life!!!
( he almost says calm down but rethinks it, thankfully, at the last second. )
You think I don't know how you are? How many nights have I stayed up with you because you can't sleep? Because you're anxious about something? You're not new to me and you're not a mess. A pain in the ass sometimes, but that's normal. So am I.
I'm an idiot, I'm uncouth, I'm not classy. You think I'm too good for you? Get a clue, you idiot, you're too good for me. But, now that I've finally, finally got you, I'm selfish enough to never let you go.
You've only seen those parts of me as a friend, what if it's too much as a lover? I'm going to be even more clingy as we go, I want you to spoil me so much and I don't want it to overwhelm you. I waited so long for you, and now I don't know how to be satisfied without potentially driving you away.
As if things like being classy or knowledgeable are important in a relationship! How is calligraphy going to help me know what you need to be happy? How is expensive taste in wine going to do anything more than annoy you? I've never done this before, Kojiro, so stop acting like I shouldn't be scared of fucking up!
Look, I'm telling you that there's nothing to be scared of because I know there's nothing you can do that'll make me want to leave. I don't think you understand how long I've been waiting for you or how much I lied to myself that I was fine with staying friends and thought I could make myself forget about my own feelings.
Kaoru, we just started dating and I'm already talking about moving in and getting married. I'm the one getting annoyed and jealous about you going out to some bar without me and getting hit on by some stranger that you won't even let me go threaten. I want you only looking at me. How the hell is anything you do from here on out more clingy than that?
I want to spoil you. I already wait on you, and now I can do it more intimately than before. I want your expensive tongue to tell me about wine so I can keep it at the restaurant. You're by my side, that makes me happy. Everything else is just a bonus.
If you need me to constantly reassure you that you're not going to do something to fuck up, I'll do it. No matter how much you need to hear it, no matter how much it takes, I'll do it. Maybe it'll help me, too.
This is why I wanted to wait until we were together to talk about all of this.
You better say all of this again tonight, I want to hear it straight from your lips. And I'm going to want a promise that you'll tell me what you need and you won't let me just walk over your feelings, because I'll do it and think that you like it and the last thing I want is for you to resent any of it.
Sorry, it's not like I could just drop it and let it go until later. But, yeah, I'll say it all over again so you can hear it. Especially that just because we're fucking now doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to let you walk all over me. I want to keep you happy and satisfied, but I'm not going to sacrifice myself for it. Just like I don't expect you to do that for me.
Seems like we both know this is more than just fucking, Kojiro.
You deserve more credit than I'm giving you, it was just that some of the things you said made me nervous. You're the strongest person I know, so I shouldn't be worried about you not standing up for yourself. I think that's one reason we've always bickered, no?
Stuff's changing between us, but it's also kind of not. We're still the same people. I'm scared about this too, you know, but I'm determined to not let that take over.
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I just meant that I'm always surprised and pleased by our compatibility despite how different we are. I know we aren't going to feel the same about everything, but I also trust you not to find fault in those differences since you've stuck with me this long. I hope you know that for all the shortness of my temper at times, nothing is a deal breaker when it comes to how strongly I feel for you.
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Kojiro I fucking swear
This conversation is tabled until we can talk about it face to face!!
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( he almost says calm down but rethinks it, thankfully, at the last second. )
You think I don't know how you are? How many nights have I stayed up with you because you can't sleep? Because you're anxious about something? You're not new to me and you're not a mess. A pain in the ass sometimes, but that's normal. So am I.
I'm an idiot, I'm uncouth, I'm not classy. You think I'm too good for you? Get a clue, you idiot, you're too good for me. But, now that I've finally, finally got you, I'm selfish enough to never let you go.
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As if things like being classy or knowledgeable are important in a relationship! How is calligraphy going to help me know what you need to be happy? How is expensive taste in wine going to do anything more than annoy you? I've never done this before, Kojiro, so stop acting like I shouldn't be scared of fucking up!
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Kaoru, we just started dating and I'm already talking about moving in and getting married. I'm the one getting annoyed and jealous about you going out to some bar without me and getting hit on by some stranger that you won't even let me go threaten. I want you only looking at me. How the hell is anything you do from here on out more clingy than that?
I want to spoil you. I already wait on you, and now I can do it more intimately than before. I want your expensive tongue to tell me about wine so I can keep it at the restaurant. You're by my side, that makes me happy. Everything else is just a bonus.
If you need me to constantly reassure you that you're not going to do something to fuck up, I'll do it. No matter how much you need to hear it, no matter how much it takes, I'll do it. Maybe it'll help me, too.
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You better say all of this again tonight, I want to hear it straight from your lips. And I'm going to want a promise that you'll tell me what you need and you won't let me just walk over your feelings, because I'll do it and think that you like it and the last thing I want is for you to resent any of it.
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You deserve more credit than I'm giving you, it was just that some of the things you said made me nervous. You're the strongest person I know, so I shouldn't be worried about you not standing up for yourself. I think that's one reason we've always bickered, no?
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